Advert Teaser.

Hey, I'm working on a new project- advert and lists entertainment. Thank you to "Dani" for the inspiration and here it is. New stuff are coming soon. Thanks! :)

GO DOWN----------------------

10 things to do while you're on a plane.

Okay....I just wanted to say sorry for the LONGLONGLONG writer's block and now...yeah, I have inspiration.

This is gonna be a countdown....1 being the ultimatum. lol...hahaha!

10. When lunch arrives....you get your SUPER GROSS LOOKING cheesecake (is that even a cheesecake?!) and slap it in to someone's face. Remember to add the pineapple, jam and honey tarts! :D

9. Read "How to BE a pumpkin for Halloween".

8.Look out the windows and gasp as you see a flying bird!

7.Look out a different window as gasp as you see a flying duck!

6.Gasp when "nature calls" to the bird and it "calls" on your window.

5. Try to open one of the emergency exits on the plane.

4. Sneak in to the cockpit and try to pilot the plane while getting the pilots drunk on tequila.

3.Look at the sign saying: 'No saying bomb in the airplane/airport."
Turn around and start yelling "BOMB,BOMB,BOMB,BOMB,BOMB!!!"

2.Bring a fake model gun and start shooting people.....and pretend your friend/brother is dying. HA!

1. Skydive. Need I say more?

NOTE:Seriously....do not do ANY of these things...ever! k? This is just fiction...

*UNTITLED*

I do have a little inspiration coming.....I'll start posting within this week. For those of you guys who have been regurlarly checking in this blog...A BIG THANK YOU to you!!! And when I come back...just a notice...I'm gonna be editing stuff and changing stuff. So, this website may be closed down for a while. Anyway.......my grandfather was off life support as mentioned......WAS strong. And then. Yeah...he passed away on Tuesday or so and I'm attending his cremation 2moro.
:((
Yeah....see ya at school/pool party/celebrations/shopping trips...BTW this notice will be deleted when I'm back. So read and pass on. Thanks! :)

Whoo. You know something? My grandfather is off life support and he's STILL strong! So.....we'll just have to wait and see what happens.....no inspiration YET..... :(

I'm spending time out of the country with my really REALLY cool cousin and we're heading shopping 2moro! Lolz......hope you guys have a nice summer...and if its school for some of you....uh....take it easy. Prob school will be a blast and just ENJOY yourself. Btw I counted the stuff on both reading lists that I have read and it totals up to 16 books! YAY! But I'm still SO reading:

Ella Enchanted
Platform 13
Jacob I have Loved
Stargirl

Hopefully I can update sooner.....and see ya next week or 2moro or Sunday on my next update...HOPEFULLY. In the meantime...check out HUGE sales in the Philippines, Singapore and Malaysia and be sure to update your reading lists! LOLZ.. I will have a David Archuleta & David Cook PHOTO PARTY when I get back. And check out other blogs...if you have any blogs you would like to share with me,......just leave a comment! Thanks! BB!

Sad News!

Okay, I may not be posting from now until 31st July as I'm on vacation...and apparently I found out my grandad is in a coma cuz he has diabetes and he's on life support. The doctor's gonna take out the life support....and I dunno what happens after that. Miracle or not, its gonna be unexpected. No duh. So.....hang on tight and hope I update. And I'm gonna hope for a miracle. See ya guys!

:(

Word Of the Day!

Sorry for the long "no updates" delay. I was having writer's block...until a friend of mine gave me this idea to post this "Word Of the Day" section. I'm gonna hold a competition to see who can create the best word from a given topic. All clear? Understood? Cool. And I have set up an email address just in case you want to email me about stuff.

And guys....my screen name is Danielle. Call me Danny for short....I don't mind. I'm Danielle Woods to you guys.

And just email me your entries for the "Word Of the Day". except that the competition is gonna be held until like, what? December. Long way away. This may be cancelled if there aren't enough entries.

Topic of the Day: fudge.

Make the most imaginative word possible out of the topic fudge: ex- Fudgemania, Fudgehaven

Okay? No taking my suggestions. That's a rule. Email me at

danielle.listsforlaughs.gmail.com

Thanks! and Good luck!

How to eat Grass

Yup. The amazing secrets of eating GRASS all posted here. The amazing secrets of eating grass.
I'm gonna introduce a new season of different writing styles. This is a road test of instructional writing. Make that instructional random writing.

How To Eat Grass: Warning! Do not eat or drink while reading this....it may make you choke or lose your appetite! esp number 4.

1.Choose a nice patch of grass in a field, paddock or meadow. Chances are there will either be mud, biomass [haha!], footprints or highly poisonous weed.

2.Make sure there are no angry cows or horses that are likely to charge when you start intruding on THEIR grass.

3.You can use either your hands, feet or mouth to grab the grass and chew it [NOT USING YOUR FEET! CHEWING IS RESERVED FOR THE MOUTH UNLESS YOU ARE HIGHLY STRANGE!]

4.Slowly chew it, then crawl off to a different spot on the field and digest the grass. If you have four stomachs, regurgitate the food and chew again! Enjoy your green and grassy meal!


Note: Best tasted with friends.

Uh.......Important

Ok, I found this amazing website where lists of all kinds are posted, and I'm sorry if you guys think I've been copying these lists. In fact, I just found it today, I'll give you a link to this webbie as to see the other part of un-random "List Entertainment". Don't quit checking this website out, place this webbie in Favourites so you can always come back and check my updates. And yes, the Vacation Editions are coming out this month or next,hope you like those!

Vacation Editions:

-Vacation Special

-What to when you're stuck on an airplane

-How to steal from Starbucks

Promised updates:

-How to eat grass

-How to be a Freak like Me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did I promise anything else? Just drop by and leave a comment if I have. Anyway, updates are coming very soon. I repeat, very soon.;):)=) ANd here's a very incredibly cute Cookie & Archie pic! From the Today's Show! Enjoy! TEEHEE!

Vacation Leave

Guys...I'm gonna be gone for like, what? 2 weeks? Approx 15 days. I'm leaving on the 17th July and coming back on the 31st July. I'll try to get the internet while on vacation...and who knows? Maybe I'll post a "Vacation Special" while I'm away. Toodlez. Bye! ;)

How to be a Freak like ME!

"How to eat grass" will be next. Yeahp. The amazing secrets of eating GRASS. All revealed very soon. Thanks! Enjoy! ;) =)

1.Create this weird blog/diary/website and go MAD on the smiley faces, blurry pictures, random quotes, green mindedness, wacky friends, crazed teachers, sick green aliens and of course...the AMAZINGLY WACK FRIENDS THAT WILL NEVER. Let. You. down.

2.Forget how to spell your name on a test.

3.Break in to song at the top of your lungs in a major assembly when the WHOLE school/officemates are involved. Try songs that you knew since you were 2. or 5. Better still, just yell random words really really loudly. It's gonna be okay. I think. If the ppl ask u where you got the idea from...dont say me. PLEASE dont say me...or else. I'm. Dead. Dangit!

4.Well, if you insist. Be a PARTY CRASHER! Crash parties, weddings, celebrations, festivals, stampedes, speeches, wars, riots, happy campers and their camps, hiding places, fences, garages, sheds, houses, stadiums, arenas, art galleries, gyms, halls, exam halls, stores, malls, restaurants, dinner places, breakfast areas, buffet tables, kiddie jungle play areas, Five-Star hotels, motels, roachtels, insect-free areas, Antartica......yeah yeah you get it.

5.Pretend you broke your ribs, and when you enter the x-ray room in the hospital, sneak something utterly ridiculous like a lollipop or (even better), your. very. own. BROTHER! Sneak his head on your chest when the examiner is checking the x-ray. That would be so cool. Imagine the printed X-Ray with your brother in the middle! Imagine the doctor fainting! Whoo!!!! It rocks being random!

6.Sneeze when you're supposed to cough.

7.Cough when you're supposed to fall.

8.Name your dog Turtle.

9.Name your turtle Kangaroo.

10.Name your annoying bratty siblings Toxic, Rodent, Rat, Rubbish and Dumpster.

11.Pretend you have amnesia. People won't bug you that way. [But your parents will!]

12.Be creative. Green minded. Random. Wacky. WHATEVER. Just be yourself and you'll find your inner [random] self.

[PFFT! DONT LAUGH DONT LAUGH! OMGOSH HAHAHAHAHH!]

If anyone asks,




I was never here. ;):)=)

Hope you enjoyed that!

How to be a Cow

"How to draw Giraffes" is sadly canceled.
In its place, however, is "How to eat Grass". Any Objections? Suggestions? Comments?
Write what you think in the comment boxes....and hope u enjoy this! =

1.Eat grass, flowers, trees, dogs, cats and people!

2.Find a random bull and start making out. [EW! BAD MENTAL IMAGE! GROSS!]

3.Start the "Moooooo Idol" or "The Moopprentice" or "The Suite Life Of Mooack and Moooody" or even...."Hannah Mootana"!

Geddit? Yeah you do.

4.Paint your hooves pink. Wear a plastic pink rain bonnet...then STRUT! Do the Moowalk, do the Moodance....whatever! Just make sure you attract attention!

5.When Britney Spears starts checking you out...kick her. HARD.

6.Learn how to climb a tree, and while you're at it, learn how to fly! [aka jump off the tree]

7.Learn how to mingle with da camels!

8.Steal a XXXXXXS Lollipop Pink Dress from Chanel or Prada, run away from the angry designers, then eat the dress....uhm....I meant wear it..if you can.

9.Hook up with a giraffe.

10.Cheat on the poor giraffe with a dog. Better still, not just any dog. Pick a Chihuahua.

11.Blackmail a rabbit in to eating dog food.

12.Blackmail a dog in to eating rubber.

13.Blackmail a goat in to NOT eating your tail.

Hope you enjoyed it....and thank you to my

SUPER!
AMAZING!
NOTORIOUS!
DRAMARAMA!
RULING!
And OMG-ish friend that supports me when I write these posts! And she gives me ideas and

suggestions! So...Thank you soo much! btw, read the weird "poem" by first letter of the adjectives. You'll get it! LOLZ HAHA! And yes!

"How to be a Freak like ME!" will be the next post....so hope y'all enjoy this...FOR NOW! WHOO!
[and yes....sadly how to eat grass will be postponed.]

I was never here. ;) =)

How to be a guy attracting, stereo typical, slut magnet!

"How To Be a Cow" coming soon.
"How to draw Giraffes" also coming soon.
"How to be gay" not coming soon.

1. Wink at a random guys, even the janitors, bell boys, guards and weird gay people.

2. Make out with a random guy.

3.If you're gay,...sorry. You're going never gonna be a slut magnet unless you wear XXXXL undies and XXXXXl skirts.

4.*Steal random guys from hot chicks. It will make you more popular and will bring you:

Very angry girls
Very confused guys
A STAMPEDE!

*David Cook not included. sorry.

5.SING AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS! It doesn't matter what you sing, or how well you sing it. It matters about WHO you attract. Preferably creatures like homeless rats and birds that have no bladder control will come.

6.Carry a magnet that says: Slut Magnet : on it. Make it super strong and you'll be sure to attrack pins and needles with : Hot Guys: written on them.

7.Make sure you have slept with your OH SO NOT HOT Humanities or Psychology Teacher.

THIS IS ALL FOR ENTERTAINMENT AND NO INTENDED HARM OR OFFENSE IS ON PURPOSE. THANKS.

8.What to wear: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXL stuff. or maybe even XXXXXXXXXXXXXXS stuff. Gosh that's gonna HURT!

9.Take pictures of your incredibly ugly face. It's gonna be a hit with the gay people.

10.You have to know how to dance! Preferably the "Nerd Dance" or the "Birds with no bladder control Dance" complete with bird poo.

Follow these tips and you'll be OH SO COOL with the SO NOT HOT SLUT MAGNET STEREOTYPICAL GUY ATTRACTING PERSON. I feel sorry for you.

If you're a guy....please. I will have something for you guys soon....as for now, check out my other posts. Thanks and LOVE YA ALL! Bye!





I was never here.

How to be a Jonas Brother

Love the cute, hot Nick, Joe and Kevin Jonas?
Here's how to be A JONAS BROTHER!

1.Know how to sing for Gosh's sake. [muffled laugh inserted here]
You gotta know how to play one musical instrument whether it's the whatdyacallit or the howdyaplayit. Or just the tambourine is cool too.

2.WEAR PINK TIES AND LIGHT NEON BLUE SUITS! Gotta dress GAY! [I didnt mean it JoBros! This is just for ENTERTAINMENT!]
You gotta wear PINK! BLUE! YELLOW! Who cares if you're a guy! NEWSFLASH! JoBros are guys!

3.Gotta know how to be a Nerd. Here's some stuff you can say with your nerd image and accent:

"Girl, I've got my library pass and I'm checking you out."
"Oh shiz."
*nerd laughs*
*farts*
"Ooh, she's hot!"
"Ooh, he's wearing a hat! *snigger snigger*"
"Hi there doofus!" Wink at the victim.....ehm...I mean PERSON. [dont laugh dont laugh dont laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

4.Break your guitar while onstage doing a guitar solo. It adds SPARK and BROKEN GUITAR STRINGS and ANGRY PRODUCERS and ASSISTANTS to your blossoming career!

5.Plan sleepovers with your mates. Offer to bring the nail polish, buffers, make up kits, cute lounge wear and of course...HOT GUYS! If you're a guy....you are in an incredibly awkward situation right now. I feel sorry for you.

6.Eat Grass. Be environment friendly. Live like a Cow! [That post will come later.]

7.STEAL CANDY FROM A BABY! yay!

8.Gotta know ALL the James Bond chick flicks. Who knows, you may be chosen to cast in them opposite Pierce Brosnan....as a co worker...janitor. Oh well.....SMILE! At least it's SOMETHING rather than NOTHING!

9.Whatever happens...don't get arrested like Barney and the Teletubbies for drug abuse or simply being gay. Shiz. I just taught you how to be gay....dangit! RUN! RUN FOR OUR SACRED LOVING MAMAS! IM GAY! SHIZ! RUN! RUNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




I was never here.

Fun stuff to do: On a school trip: The Zoo

1. Feed the crocs. Make sure you're feeding them either a teacher, fellow hated student or just some random guy at the zoo.
2. Steal candy from the nearest most vulnerable looking baby. Be careful...those things can seriously hurt you! [the babies...not the candy. The mothers too! Keep a look out for their mean and nasty parents!]
3.Open the bird park gate. Meaning: Let the birds be free and do their..uhm...call of nature on others!
4. Open the tiger park gate. Meaning: run for your life and climb on a roof where they won't get you.
5. Chew a pencil.
6. Climb in with the bears and show your classmates, teachers and zoo rangers your bear taming talent! Tip: Make sure the bear's fake.
7. Kidnap a monkey, preferably one of those huge ape-like creatures. Then place it in a box, make it angry, give it to someone you want to get back at, and RELEASE! Then sit back and enjoy!
8. To release your anger....start yelling at random people and animals
"YOU B****!" or "F*** YOU!" Note: censored for little kids! =D
9. Ride on a hippo.
10. Saddle and mount a giraffe.
11. Ride on a zebra's long neck. Notice the irony and weirdness between 10 & 11?
12. Teach a monkey how to be green minded.
13. Meditate with the lions. If there aren't any lions, crocs/tigers/wolves/ostriches that kick really really hard will do fine. Remember to smile when they eat your enemies! Note: If you meditate hard enough, there's a chance that nothing will happen to you.
14. Flirt with a bunch of 7 year old kids. If you're seven, cool. Just don't kiss anyone who walks your way and looks HOT! HHAA! OMG LOLZ. Sorry. Prone to laughter.
15. Flirt with........the monkeys! Or the birds!
16. Enter the....Baracuda/Piranha Lake. It's worth the risk! Better still, push someone else in to the Lake.
17. Throw yourself to the crocs and blame it on some random guy 5 metres away from you.
18. Threaten a turtle to pay his rent.
19. Threaten an orang utan to give up his endless supply of bananas for coconuts. Even better, STARBUCKS lattes! WHOO!
20. Pretend you saw...I don't know...Prince William....and start yelling "OMG! IT'S PRINCE WILLIAM BY THE ICE CREAM STAND BUYING LEMONADE!" Watch as nobody cares.

I'll continue this tomorrow, I've got exams to study for. Hope you enjoy it! Bye!

Fun Stuff to do: In an Exam Hall part2

Ok, I'm sorry that I didn't finish the Exam Hall....I just had to go to dinner and I forgot to not publish it and save it to drafts instead. If I get new ideas I'll place comments or make a new post on my ideas. Hope you enjoy it!

35. STARE the hell out of someone.
36. SCARE the hell out of someone.
37. DOODLE!
38. Draw giraffes, kangaroos, armadillos and polar bears. And add some half chicken-half dogs whilst you're doing that.
39. Rip your exam in to....not two pieces but EIGHT!
40. Make puppy eyes at the nearest teacher!
41. COUGH!
42. SNEEZE!
43. Be green minded, purple AND pink minded!
44. Check no one has died.
45. Make sure you haven't died first.
46. Wear a superman outfit before the exam, whilst halfway through the test, make someone call you on your cell, then jump up, answer it and run out of the exam hall yelling "WATCH OUT! HERE I COME!" note: don't forget to not bump in to the glass doors for better effect.
47. Choke.
48. Live.
49. Start singing random songs at the top of your lungs such as:

Best of Both Worlds by Miley Cyrus...aka...Hannah Montana
S.O.S by the Jonas Brothers
Kids of the Future by the Jonas Brothers
Shut Up by Simple Plan
This Love by Maroon Five
When You look Me in the Eyes by the Jonas Brothers
With You by Chris Brown...note: especially the "I need you Boo!" parts!!!
The Potential Breakup Song by Aly & AJ
Any random national anthems!!! =D


and of course....

Wannabe by the Spice Girls
Touch My Body by Mariah Carey
Four Minutes by Madonna ft Justin Timberlake!!! :D

My favourite? Wannabe! HAHA! sing the chorus and its gonna be A HIT in the exam hall!

50. Spray EXTRAEXTRAEXTRA STRONG perfume!
51. Freak out and jump on random people.
52. Bring fake insects and start throwing it on random people! Even better, bring the REAL THING! HHAA.lolz!

My fave?
Hope I haven't mentioned it yet.

53. DO THE MEXICAN WAVE! WHOO!

Fun Stuff to do: In an exam hall

1. Revise
2. Drink water
3. Sneak out to the bathroom
4. Play random songs/playlists in your mind
5. Wink at your seat mate
6. Make a list like this
7. look out for your crush
8. Wink at your friends
9. READ!
10. Do crossword puzzles
11. Play Eye-Spy
12.[Try to] Commit suicide!
13. Roll your eyes and start finger playing!
14. Silent Laugh
15. Swear!
16. Random maths
17. Pull on a jacket...then a scarf...until you look like a snowman!
18. DAYDREAM!
19. Sleep. Snore if possible....it reduces stress and tension!
20. Start dying!
21. Do your homework
22. Cut yourself and blame it on a random guy 10 seats away from you
23. FAIL!
24. Understand equations, write it down and make your maths teacher swallow it!
25. Text your...uh....MUM!
26. Yawn.
27. CRY! Breakdown! Tsunami ALERT!
28. Make funny sounds....
29. Write something backwards
30. Pass notes
31. Faint
32. Fake a migraine
33. Try not to laugh...on second thought...LAUGH OUT LOUD!
34. DROP THY PENCIL....at least 8 times in a minute!
35.